Off the Map

So I'm watching The Colbert Report, and he flashes the treasure map (available in his Super Pac Super Fun Pack) up on the screen. And I pause it, because I realize the trail for the treasure map is a series of dots and dashes. Morse code.

So I take a little time to translate it, and I found the secret message! It read:

"NOT THE REAL MAP NOT THE REAL MAP."

You win this time, Colbert.

Rob

Strike a Pose

Rob
(I can only assume this is part of Stephen Colbert's "Make McCain Exciting" initiative...)

We Can Be Heroes

So the Colbert taping last week was a blast. It wasn’t too hot to wait in line (pity those poor fools in the heat yesterday) and we had a good time hanging out before the show. It turned out the couple in line ahead of us were waiting (outside the wrong studio) to see The Daily Show, but they were able to get in anyway. (I really thought I had corrected them about that while we were waiting, but I guess not, or it didn’t take.)

After going through security, we hung out in an interior waiting area for a while, watching a “greatest-hits” type video—mostly “Better Know a District” segments. (Poor Rob Wexler.) Then the audience manager came in, taught us how to clap (twice as fast as we normally would, to give the impression of twice as many people), encouraged us to laugh heartily, and asked us trivia questions about the show. (I won a Colbert Report baseball cap for knowing—hmm. I forget what, exactly. But I knew it at the time.)

Once we were ushered in to our seats, warm-up comic Pete Domenick called me a dirtbag. Well, the fact is, I was laughing at a joke about his butt hair, so I guess I deserved it. He’s a really funny guy, putting all his energy into not just making the audience laugh, but making them feel comfortable around each other. He talks to people throughout the audience, makes fun of them, makes fun of himself, whatever it takes. But by the end of his set, we’re not a bunch of individuals who’ve been waiting in line for a few hours—we’re an audience, ready to do our job.

Then Stephen came out, amid high-fives mostly to his crew. (I was on the aisle he ran down, but never put my hand out for the high five.) He starts most shows with a Q&A session with the audience before he gets into character. The impression I got is that he’s a really nice, smart, with-it, (and busy!) guy who has finally come to terms with how famous he is. He’s not Brad Pitt, but he realizes there are people out there who adore him. (Reading over this para, I realize I’m talking out my hat, but he sure seems friendly, if a little too busy to be completely approachable.)

I never got to ask my Q (either “Have any guests not realized you’re playing a character?” or “What’s your alignment?”), but another guy took the wind out of the sails of the second question by asking what he thought of D&D’s 4th Edition. (Stephen’s answer: “I’ve moved on to girls.”)

Then the show started. Most of it was done in one take—we only ran through the cold open twice. Somewhere during a commercial break, Stephen fired some WristStrong bracelets into the audience. I snagged one and gave it to Kathy. She says I can have it back when I’m famous.

Pat Buchanan was the guest, pimping his book, The Unnecessary War. He drew parallels to the Iraq War, saying it hasn’t made us any safer, which got cheers—uncomfortable ones, since who wants to agree with Pat Buchanan? But then things got to a more familiar level when Stephen framed the premise of the book this way: We should have let Hitler take what he wanted. I don’t think that’s exactly what Buchanan was trying to say—how could it have been?—but he didn’t really disabuse Stephen of the notion, suggesting that we should have drawn a line in France, saying Hitler could have whatever he wanted south of the line, but going north of it meant war. I don’t think the studio microphones were able to pick up the sound of all the jaws dropping.

Of course, throughout the show, we laughed, screamed our throats raw, gave standing ovations and had a great time all around. And when Stephen ran through the audience after the show, I got my high-five.

Rob
P.S. On the way to the train station (after an after-show dinner at a Mexican restaurant—frozen sangria is goood) we bumped into the Daily Show couple again at a crosswalk. I walked up behind them and said “We are SO stalking you.” New York can be such a small town sometimes.

Truthy Enough For Ya?

I nearly forgot: Kathy & I have tickets to The Colbert Report tomorrow night!


And that's The Word.

Rob

Secret Ten: Comic Blog Showdown!

I'm going to reveal my Meme of the Secret Ten choices little by little, in case anyone other than Ami wants to play. (C'mon, folks! Right now the only person pulling my strings is one somewhat hyperactive Canadian! That's not just bad for the meme: It's bad for America. Show some national pride! Add a question in the comments here or in the first meme post.)

So rather than takle Ami's first question, I'm going for this one:

3 and 10 start separate comic blogs, what would they blog about, would any of their blogs show up on WFA, and would they ever get into a flame war and troll each other? xD

Oh yes. Oh yes they would.

First off, #3, "Steven Colbert" (the persona he plays on his show, rather than the guy himself) would start up his own Tek Jansen fanblog under a ghost name, JansenFan64. It would start getting massive hits once Colbert himself recommended the site on his show. Things would be going fine, thanks to all his readers -- "the Heroes" -- posting a lot of fawning comments on the blog.

And then #10 would show up. Writing only as tehBastard, the commenter would begin by poking little holes in the Jansen stories, noting how ridiculous they are and how they seem only to be written for Colbert's self-aggrandizement. tehBastard provokes and provokes, eventually driving the Heroes to distraction and JansenFan64 to the point of apoplexy. His comments would get so trenchant, and so vehement, that Colbert himself would "step in," (remember, he's actually been there all along, but this time he's using his real name) calling tehBastard out on the blog. tehBastard accepts his challenge, appearing on a special Colbert Report: Where he's revealed as Spider Jerusalem -- and he in turn reveals Colbert as JansenFan64. The Heroes, of course, dismiss Jerusalem as an America-hating tattooed freak from the future. But shortly thereafter, JansenFan64 retires from the blogosphere, looking for a less acrimonious venue, like cable news.

When Fangirls Attack links as they deem necessary -- they're never ones to shy away from a car wreck on their side of the street.

***

Whaddya think, sirs? I'll try to post one of these a day, holidays permitting (Christmas is sprawling over 3 days for me this year). So feel free to send me more ideas!

Rob