Monday, December 24, 2007

Meme of the Secret Ten: Shoedown!

So, it seems y'all are letting Ami control my fate in this, the dreaded Meme of the Secret Ten. I can't find my list of numbers right now (it's either in my car or in the bedroom, and Kathy's asleep, and there's no chance I'm turning on a light), but I think I remember numbers 2 and 5. So we'll go with Ami's question:

2 and 5 go shoe shopping, what would happen, where would they go? :D

Shoe shopping. Sigh.

This question pairs up what may be the ultimate northerner and the ultimate southerner: #2, Police Chief Margie Gunderson from the Coen Brothers' Fargo, and #5, Johnny, the fiddle player from Charlie Daniels' song, "The Devil Went Down to Georgia."

Margie, being pregnant, wants comfortable shoes with a lot of support--but also something she can run in in case she needs to chase down a perp before he gets to the wood chipper. Good traction, too -- there's a lot of ice in Minnesota. Johnny, of course, wants some new shitkickin' boots. For, well... kickin' shit, I guess. I don't really understand the impulse, to be honest.

Johnny, being a gentleman, offers to pay. They go to a nice store in the Mall of America and try on shoes until they're both satisfied. Then Johnny hauls out the golden fiddle he won from the devil and tries to get change. The shoe store cashier insists on cash.

Meanwhile, Margie begins to wonder where Johnny got such a valuable item in the first place. She doggedly checks Johnny's credit rating and consults numerous financial institutions, as well as the Securities Exchange Commission, to see if Johnny might have stolen that fiddle. Johnny tells her he won it in a bet with the Devil. Margie asks for details, which Johnny supplies.

So she pulls out the cuffs and arrests him. Neither Johnny nor the so-called "Devil" could produce any licensing for legal gambling in the state of Georgia. However, upon extradition, the state of Georgia releases Johnny after he wins a fiddle contest with the warden.

The warden bowed his head, and told the judge to set the bail
Cause he finally found the one guy even Margie couldn't jail
Johnny said, "Warden, just say the word if you wanna sing a different key
Cause I told you once, you son of a bitch, the best fiddle player's me!"

Oddly enough, Johnny's golden fiddle somehow disappeared from the evidence locker. The warden retired in disgrace shortly afterwards, and now lives on his own private island.

See how much fun this can be? Why not leave me a question? Or better yet, come up with your own Secret Ten!

Rob

5 comments:

Ami Angelwings said...

WHY AREN'T PPL DOING THIS MEME!?? >:|

Rob S. said...

It's xmas -- people are really busy.

Also, there's no tagging, so there's not even the slightest feeling of obligation.

But It's definitely fun, and I found my list this morning!

Ami Angelwings said...

yay! :D

I know ppl are busy but I think it's the obligation thing :\

My xmas pressie to everybody is telling them to do this :D

Ami Angelwings said...

Merry Christmas Rob :) *hugs* :)

Rob S. said...

And Merry Christmas to you, too!