Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Maybe He Was Singing About Manimal

They must've heard we had moonshine. 
In my defense, I never thought the Duke Boys had gills.
But in the Dukes of Hazzard theme song, Waylon Jennings sings about the Good Ol' Boys "straight'nin' the curves...flatt'nin' the hills..." And for a not inconsiderable period of time, I mis-heard that line as "flapping their gills."
Picture 10-year-old me, wondering if "flapping their gills" was down-home country slang for "talking tough."


Monday, March 05, 2018

So Apparently This Blog is Going to an All-Poetry Parody Format

This is just to say
I have eaten
the leftover queso
that was in
the fridge
I microwaved it
And finished the jar
with tortilla chips.
My bad.
If it makes you
feel better
I burnt the
ever-loving shit out of my tongue.


Wednesday, February 07, 2018

With apologies to Poe

Oh, the rapping and the tapping
And the wet and ceaseless slapping
Of the rain as it relentlessly does fall!

How I need a long vacation
From the tintinnabulation
As it strikes the air conditioner down the hall!

And yet I edit these notations through it all.


Sunday, January 07, 2018

The Very Model

"I am the very model of a modern stable gen-i-us/
A presidential pussygrabber, Hail to the Obscen-i-est/
Who can’t help tweeting Rocket Man, whose button is the teeniest/
And other flimsy metaphors for measures of the peen-i-us"

CHORUS: His hands are tiny metaphors for measures of the peen-i-us!