"Bogus! What's been compromised?"

The original 1994 pilot to 24. Enjoy!



Rob
(via Kevin)

Chloe, Don't Tell Anyone I'm Eating This Creampuff

So, despite going off the grid Jack-Bauer-style at Rob & Brenda’s barbecue on Saturday, I still managed to lose 2.6 pounds, bringing my total down (or up?) to 25-plus pounds gone.

Less of me is good.

Rob

Fins to the left, fins to the right

Well 24 has always been a paranoid, right-wing fantasy, but the episode I just watched (I’m a week – no, two weeks – behind) took it to another level. It’s easy to believe this show is on Fox; the only surprise is it’s not being produced by its “news” division.

All through the season, Jack and company have been torturing people willy-nilly. There’s not a skilled interrogator anywhere near the halls of CTU – apparently they all work in Baltimore and New York. All they have in LA is Barney Fife and a tire iron. Everyone in CTU jumps right to torturing people, disregarding the facts that a) most info given up during torture is bullshit, just frightened, hurt people telling their tormentors what they think they want to hear; and b) the torture pretty much invalidates any future legal case against almost anyone involved (except the torturers themselves), but that’s probably okay, since CTU rarely leaves anyone alive, unless they slip through their buttered fingers altogether.

But now, they’ve got someone in custody who knows crucial information, and the plot has given them every possible justification for torturing the SOB – up to and including “he killed my muddah” (thank you, Edgar). But they throw two monkeywrenches into the works: a lawyer for Amnesty Internat—I’m sorry, Amnesty Global, don’t wanna get sued, after all—and a cowardly new President, both of whom oppose CTU’s handling of the new suspect with anything but the cuddliest of kid gloves. The point seems clear: anyone who opposes torture is either cowardly or a sleazeball. Forget Abu Ghraib, forget Guantanamo, forget shipping folks on the no-fly list out to “friendly” Arab nations who supply their own pliers and electrodes. Anyone who brings them up is a troublemaker who probably just wants to sell more books.

And then, the most preposterous solution imaginable. In order to circumvent the regs, Jack Bauer resigns, then tortures the guy in CTU’s parking lot after he’s released. This is perfectly in character for Jack, who has always been willing to take personal responsibility for any moral gray areas in order to get the job done. But the idea that this little paperwork shuffle is going to fool anyone, or even provide an adequate fig leaf for higher-ups to hide behind is laughable (although it’d probably be good enough for Fox reporters, come to think of it). And to tell you the truth, I’m not even particularly clear what job Jack is resigning from. He was working with the DOD in the beginning of the season, but was somehow fuzzily “reinstated” with CTU, whatever that means. Maybe he wrote two letters? If you’re the ever-on-the-go Jack Bauer, where do you find the time?

I have to admire the balls behind the idea that “We’re CTU. We have cameras everywhere, and can tap into those we don’t directly control. But if one of our ex-agents tortures one of our ex-prisoners five minutes after his release in our own parking lot, we’re Sergeant Schultz. We know nothink. We see nothink.”

See that fin behind you, Jack? Congratulations on the jump.

Rob

24: Can Someone Call Ma Bell?

Okay, I'm three quarters of the way through the four-hour, two-day premiere of 24, and -- as much as I like the adrenaline rush this show gives me, there are parts that are simply hit-the-pause-button-and pick-your-jaw-off-the-floor stupid. Case in point: In hour three, the head of CTU says "It'll take days to review [the secretary of defense's son Richard's] phone records"... and tacitly authorizes an agent to torture him to get the information.

Okay, toss aside the political ramifications of torturing the defense secretary's son. Forget that.

Doesn't CTU have at least ONE skilled interrogator, so they don't have to go to code red on everyone with the sense to keep his mouth shut? An agent said that what was probably keeping him mum was pride, rather than complicity in the crime. That shouldn't be TOO hard to break, to anyone with decent training. Anyone -- and I mean ANYONE, even Beau -- on Homicide could have gotten this kid to mention who he’s spoken to about his dad’s visit. But he wouldn’t talk to the folks at CTU, who are actively trying to help him? I’m sorry, I so don’t buy that. I used to say Vic Mackey could retitle 24 to One and a Half. But Frank Pembleton or Kay Howard could make it Point Five, giving us enough time for some wacky escapades at the bar.

But the best part was: "It'll take days to review his phone records." Izzat so? The personnel at CTU can’t call up Verizon and get his records, cross-referenced with the names of the people on the other line, in less then five minutes? These people who reroute satellites? “Oh, that’ll take days. Just torture him.”

That’s bunk. I hate it when they make the rest of CTU look like morons just to make Jack look good, and with him out of the organization altogether, it looks like that’s the new protocol.

Rob