KT’s Got a Meme

The inimitable KTBuffy set me to shuffling my iTunes to discover the Soundtrack to my Life. To wit:

Here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle/Random
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

Opening Credits: "You Don’t Pull No Punches, but You Don’t Push the River" by Van Morrison. There’s an ominous inevitability here, almost as if the story is already told, and is just waiting to play out.

Waking Up: Languid and gentle: Bill Morrissey singing Mississippi John Hurt’s “Hey, Honey, Right Away.” The best part of waking up…

First Day At School: Insanity! A 30-second clip from Davinci’s Notebook, with yodeling – “Uncle Buford #2.” “I’ve never used a spoon, but I heard about ’em.” Downright hyper.

Falling In Love: “Perfect World,” the Pietasters. “In a perfect world, I’d know our name…but it doesn’t seem to be that way.” Pure frustration. Been there, baby.

Breaking Up: Lotta horns. The Anders Osbourne Orchestra, “Pleasing You.” “You’re just pleasing you, that’s all you ever do.” Grievances expressed, check.

Prom: The Decemberists, “The Sporting Life.” A tale of humiliation in front of your entire school. I actually had some pretty good prom experiences, but this sort of thing could have happened at any minute.

Life's OK: “The only reason you used to need to be around me was me.” Dan Bern’s “Sweetness.” Ringing guitars, but not exactly the happiest of songs: “Sometimes I feel like an experiment,” and, of course, “Where has the sweetness gone?” If this is okay, I’m nervous about what’s next.

Mental Breakdown: The Rascals, “Little Dove.” Harps and all. This is the most serene mental breakdown I’ve ever had. My loony bin is an island paradise. Ahh…

Driving: ”Night by Night,” Steely Dan. If the Dan’s playing while you’re on the road, you know you’re going somewhere cool. “I don’t really car if it’s wrong of if it’s right, but until my ship comes in, I’ll live night by night.” Oh, yeah. I’m cashing in this ten-cent life for another one.

Flashback: Holy crap. “Angel of Lyon,” by Tom Russell, as a flashback? This is a song about a guy with a big-city job who leaves everything he has to search for the titular angel. :And he sang, Ave Maria, or at least the parts he knew…” He winds up as a saint of rag and bone himself. And as I flashback, I wonder how a guy can come back from that.

Getting Back Together: Oh, this doesn’t bode well – Dada’s “8 Track.” Baby’s got an eight-track mind… and I’m number nine. Yeah, that’s a good match. Things were so much happier during my mental breakdown.

Wedding: Weirdest Wedding Evah. “The Eyeball Kid,” by Tom Waits. The life story of a guy that is litterally just one big eyeball. “He was born without a body, not even a brow.” (And later, even better: “He’s not conventionally handsome.”) Mazel Tov!

Birth of Child: Buckwheat Zydeco, “Changes.” You don’t know how you touch my heart, honey. Got me goin’ through changes. You great big friggin’ eyeball, you.

Final Battle: “When You Dream,” Barenaked Ladies. When you dream, what do you dream about. Apparently in my final battle, I’ll be daydreaming about what my baby eyeball will be dreaming in his crib, and all his past lives. I should really get my head in the game before I get my ass handed to me.

Death Scene: “I Forgive You,” by Thomas “Big Hat” Fields. Another zydeco tune. Pretty happy way to die – and it’s good to know that whatever betrayal got me killed, I’m all right with it. (I think, anyway – it’s in French.)

Funeral Song: “Hard Times,” Eddie Bo. “Oh Confucious say, every dog got his day.” A nice piano blues to send me off with the promise of revenge.

Sex Scene: At last, after all this killing, now I get to get laid. And what’s on the radio? A “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” sequel, “Grandpa’s in Jail, He Shot a Reindeer.” If anyone in the world has ever had sex while this song is playing, they should get the clap. As should the DJ of my life. This is a cruel trick.

Dance Sequence: Rufus Wainwright, “The Consort.” Looks like I get a slow dance, with a threat to the status quo. “Together we’ll wreak havoc, you and me.”

End Credits: And finally, a moment to reflect over what’s gone before. As Richard Cheese’s lounge interpretation of “Rock the Casbah” caps what’s possibly the worst movie of all time. R-O-C-K the Casbah!

Oh yeah.

Rob