Fins to the left, fins to the right

Well 24 has always been a paranoid, right-wing fantasy, but the episode I just watched (I’m a week – no, two weeks – behind) took it to another level. It’s easy to believe this show is on Fox; the only surprise is it’s not being produced by its “news” division.

All through the season, Jack and company have been torturing people willy-nilly. There’s not a skilled interrogator anywhere near the halls of CTU – apparently they all work in Baltimore and New York. All they have in LA is Barney Fife and a tire iron. Everyone in CTU jumps right to torturing people, disregarding the facts that a) most info given up during torture is bullshit, just frightened, hurt people telling their tormentors what they think they want to hear; and b) the torture pretty much invalidates any future legal case against almost anyone involved (except the torturers themselves), but that’s probably okay, since CTU rarely leaves anyone alive, unless they slip through their buttered fingers altogether.

But now, they’ve got someone in custody who knows crucial information, and the plot has given them every possible justification for torturing the SOB – up to and including “he killed my muddah” (thank you, Edgar). But they throw two monkeywrenches into the works: a lawyer for Amnesty Internat—I’m sorry, Amnesty Global, don’t wanna get sued, after all—and a cowardly new President, both of whom oppose CTU’s handling of the new suspect with anything but the cuddliest of kid gloves. The point seems clear: anyone who opposes torture is either cowardly or a sleazeball. Forget Abu Ghraib, forget Guantanamo, forget shipping folks on the no-fly list out to “friendly” Arab nations who supply their own pliers and electrodes. Anyone who brings them up is a troublemaker who probably just wants to sell more books.

And then, the most preposterous solution imaginable. In order to circumvent the regs, Jack Bauer resigns, then tortures the guy in CTU’s parking lot after he’s released. This is perfectly in character for Jack, who has always been willing to take personal responsibility for any moral gray areas in order to get the job done. But the idea that this little paperwork shuffle is going to fool anyone, or even provide an adequate fig leaf for higher-ups to hide behind is laughable (although it’d probably be good enough for Fox reporters, come to think of it). And to tell you the truth, I’m not even particularly clear what job Jack is resigning from. He was working with the DOD in the beginning of the season, but was somehow fuzzily “reinstated” with CTU, whatever that means. Maybe he wrote two letters? If you’re the ever-on-the-go Jack Bauer, where do you find the time?

I have to admire the balls behind the idea that “We’re CTU. We have cameras everywhere, and can tap into those we don’t directly control. But if one of our ex-agents tortures one of our ex-prisoners five minutes after his release in our own parking lot, we’re Sergeant Schultz. We know nothink. We see nothink.”

See that fin behind you, Jack? Congratulations on the jump.

Rob