He Was Five Foot Six, and Fulla Mussels

So the other day, I finally had some frozen mussels for lunch that I'd bought at a discount from the supermarket a while back. By a while back, I mean a long while back. I can't say precisely when I bought them, but the "best before" date on the package was May, 2009, so it's entirely possible that I bought them during the Bush Administration.

But anyway, they were frozen, so I decided to give them a shot.

Upon hearing that I had expired mussels in my system, Kathy just shook her head, sadly. She gave me a look like I was a little kid who doesn't know how the world works.

"Honey... the freezer isn't a time machine," she said. "Things still.... happen... to food in there. It doesn't stop time."

"Oh yeah?" I said. Tell that to Captain America!"

"But--"

"Tell it to Encino Man!"

She rolled her eyes, like I was being unreasonable. "They're fictional."

"Tell it to Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer!" And with that, I rested my case.

Turns out, everything's been peachy since then, stomach-wise. I've suffered no ill efects whatsoever, eating those mussels in 2010. But I wonder... could that be the true end of the story? Or am I throwing up inexplicably, sometime back in 2008?

Rob