Xmas Xtravaganza

I wanted to write a bit about the Xmas Xtravaganza, even though it's no longer fresh in my head.

Last Friday, a whole heapin' helpin of us went to the State Theatre in New Brunswick to see Glenn Burtnik's Xmas Xtravaganza, a somewhat free-form Christmas show he puts on every year. He gets a ton of musicians (some famous, some not, all talented) to donate some time and perform holiday songs. The proceeds go to charity -- Elijah's Promise soup kitchen and various New Jersey food banks.

Kathy and I started going on our second date, in 1998; this was our seventh Xtravaganza. There are some things we've come to expect:

Glenn's hair will be dyed. He and some kids (originally his own, but they're now grown) will perform the Chipmunk's "Christmas Don't Be Late."

Everlounge will sing "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch," sounding like Thurl Ravenscroft on methamphetamines.

BB Brauswetter will grove with some Christmas blues (usually it's "Backdoor Santa" -- this year it was "Boogie Woogie Santa Claus.")

Christine Ohlman and Joe Hurley will usually sing The Pogues' and Kirsty MacColl's "Fairytale Of New York," the Paradise by the Dashboard Light of Christmas songs, which never fails to bring a tear to my eye, despite the lyrics: "You're a bum/You're a punk/You're an old slut on junk/Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed/You scumbag, you maggot/You cheap lousy faggot/Happy Christmas your arse/I pray God it's our last." It really does wind up sweet in the end.

Jigs will dance the "Twelve Days of Christmas." (Usually he does Day Twelve in his underwear. This year, possibly because he was being aided by the Jigsettes -- two little girls -- he stayed clothed. Probably for the best.)

Santa will come out, and do and say rude, funny things. (Um.. he didn't exactly stay completely clothed this year, as he sang "Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear." Were our nephews and niece traumatized? It's tough to say. Their psychiatrist says it's confidential.)

Carlton Brown, the most dapper man in the universe, sings "Merry Christmas Baby."

Willie Nile will tear the house down with a balls-out rockin' "O Come All Ye Faithful."

Antonique Smith will raise it back up with a haunting "O Holy Night." This year she upped the ante by following it up with a more contemporary soul Christmas song, the name of which I've forgotten. "Blue Holiday," I think.

Some other performances of note:

The Youth Ahead, a Jersey punk band, blasted out Adam Sandler's "Hanukkah Song."

Dibs, Beau Burtnik's band, played Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah."

Marshall Crenshaw sang a cool Christmas song, the title of which eludes me completely.

Fritz's Polka Band sang a couple of songs, including one (I believe) called "Merry Christmas Ho Ho Ho" which included the headscratcher line "Happy Hanukkah Ho Ho Ho."

Joy Askew sang Joni Mitchell's "Skate Away," which gets sadder every time I hear it.

Tom Brislin's band Spiraling knocked it out of the park with a blend of "Do You Hear What I Hear" and the Who's "Baba O'Reilly," following it up with a kickass "Nutcracker." (That sounds violent, I know.) They've done this a few times before. It's always gooooood.

The show, as it has for several years now, ended with John Lennon's "Happy Xmas (War is Over)," sung by everyone who performed.

It was a great night, marred only by the fact that I was starting to die.

But I've gotten better since then.

Rob