My Wife Has Made a Pie.

This pie.
















This apple pie.















For Thanksgiving, she says. At your mother's, she says.

And yet...





...
























...






I'm trying to convince her of the importance of a "test pie."

So far, she's not biting.















So far, neither am I.

Rob

You Want Your King Cake When?

I just realized I should start getting this information out into the world:

Our annual Mardi Gras party is normally the Saturday before Mardi Gras (and Ash Wednesday); this year we've got to postpone it until after Mardi Gras, because I'll be in Vegas for a trade show on Mardi Gras day, and we won't have enough time to get the party together the weekend after I return. So the party will be a week and a half after Mardi Gras, on Saturday, February 16. Which is also the Saturday after Valentine's day, so there's that. But if we push the Mardi Gras party any closer to Easter, Jesus will kick my ass. It's pretty much sacrelige as it stands.

Anyway, I'm hoping we can whip up some decent revelry despite the post-Ash Wednesday date. Just don't give up partyin' for Lent and y'all should be fine.

Rob

All Choked Up

A short, touching webcomic by an IGN member and Onesound.

(Mom, you'll like this.)

Rob

Behold! Something Awesome From 1935!

Robert Benchley's short film, How To Sleep:



I can't remember where Kathy & I first saw this, but I dig it so.

Rob

Egg FU

My usual breakfast stop has changed managership (as a lot of immigrant-run businesses do; I think person A goes back to the old country while person B takes the reins here, and then vice-versa -- or should I say Visa versa?) and has decided to raise the price on my egg-white & hot sauce sandwich (at first offering the specious claim that two egg whites cost more than two eggs, and then just flat-out telling me I'm not paying enough). So, I'm pricing egg-white sandwiches, to see if I can get one cheaper than $2. I'll show them... I'll show them all!

Rob

Caucasiclysm

Downstairs at an NYC bar, in a room that smelled of cologne and desperation, the dance music suddenly gave way to Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'." Suddenly, the room was united in people pumping their fists in the air, throwing their heads back and singing in that heartfelt Steve Perry way.

A knot of dread grew in my stomach. I knew we had to leave.

Rob

Happiness Meme of Happy Happiness

So a while ago, Ami tagged me with the Happiness Meme of Happy Happiness, or something like that. The rules are simple, and I reproduce them here for your edification:

The rules are simple. Just create a post about any number of things that have made you happy recently. Then tag any number of people and have them post this meme on their blogs.

I told you the rules were simple. What I didn’t tell you was that the simple rules were simple enough to proclaim their own simplicity. Ouroboros, baby. Simple enough.

I’ve decided to do this post today not because I’m particularly happy. Actually, I’ve been in a black mood for the past couple days. I’m hoping this can break that up.

Here goes.

1) I think I’ve got a really good D&D game coming up tonight. I’m particularly proud of a horrible incident that should set the stage for the carnage to come.

2) Fables. Month-in and month-out, there’s no comic that’s so consistently enthralling. It’s the best comic on the stands today, bar none. Every issue has a surprise, but every surprise is, in its own way, inevitable.

3) I just closed another issue of my magazine. Ahhh...

4) I just loaded Patton Oswalt’s new comedy album onto my mp3 player. Comedy is always happy-making, and Oswalt’s one of the best right now. I’ll start listening when I pick up my lunch.

5) One of the reasons I’m so gloomy is that I gave up my credit cards a couple of months ago, and I realized my former Christmas gift strategy (blissfully charge it) no longer applies. But I realized something good and meaningful I can give to Kathy for Christmas and not feel like I’m totally cheaping out (even though she knows my situation and has already assured me she needs nothing). I’m set, and while it’ll take some effort, it’s a load off my mind.

6) For the past couple weeks, I’ve been seeing pages of my first full-length comic book story sent to me via pdf. (Yes, I buried the lede.) They look fantastic, and I can’t wait to dialogue them. (Nothing’s been announced yet, so I’m keeping mum online, and may have to for quite a while. Sorry.)

7) My 20th high-school reunion is next Friday. I’ll be seeing a bunch of friends I’m still in touch with but rarely see, and hopefully a few that I’ve lost touch with completely.

8) Busy as it’s making me at the moment, I *am* going to Vegas for a business trip in February. That’ll be nice, when it comes.

9) My wife, Kathy. She melts my bad moods away like no one ever has.

Rob
(And my tags? Andrew, Jeri (when hibernation's over), Jayanada, Travis, and Jeff.)

Just back from the pet store...

... and I've gotta ask: Why are there small bags of pet litter? The brand of litter we buy comes in three bags of different sizes. Are people hoping their pets will just decide to use the toilet any day now? Or is it for pessimists? "Well, Mister Whiskers is on his last legs. I'm moving to small bags."

The pooping never stops. You gotta face that fact if you're gonna own a pet.

Rob

This is How I Serve the Common Man

Sure, embedding a Coen Brothers tribute ain't much, but it's what I got right now.



I've seen all but one of these movies, and The Man Who Wasn't There is right downstairs.

Rob

A Boot Full of Blood

A train was stuck in the tunnel that connects Penn Station to New Jersey at rush hour tonight. No sense griping in these situations, and waiting around only gets you frustrated, and then onto the most crowded train you've ever been on in your life. So I delayed my commute and went to see a movie. Lemons, meet sugar and water.


I was just able to make* No Country For Old Men, the new Coen Brothers picture, based on a Cormac McCarthy novel. It's tense and terrifying. It concerns a Vietnam vet (Josh Brolin) who finds the carnage after a drug deal gone sour, and a satchel full of money. There's an assassin sent after him, played by Javier Bardem, who's probably the most disconcerting serial killer since Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. Meanwhile, Tommy Lee Jones plays the aging sheriff piecing the whole case together and fighting his own repulsion by the crimes he faces.

I don't want to say much more yet, but it's certainly one of the best movies I've seen all year -- and one of the Coens' best films, period.

Rob
*Actually, I missed a minute or three of the opening monologue. A perfect reason to see it again!

Manly Diet Tip

I'm not a big fan of the veggies. But lately I've been eating a lot of Sylvia's canned collard greens. They're cooked with smoked turkey, and I add hot sauce to the pot when I heat 'em up. So they're vegetables...

...that taste like MEAT.

It's like they were invented for me. Plus, Kathy doesn't like 'em, so I have leftovers for later!

Rob
(And yes, sooner or later I'll be ambitious enough to make my own. But any obstacle keeping me from eating veggies quickly becomes an excuse, so canned is perfect, lads.)

Dropkick Me, Jesus

We got to see a complete episode of The Amazing Race last night, and I enjoyed it as much as ever. And one team—the married Episcopal ministers—said something I really appreciated: “We’re very religious, of course, but we have no illusions that God cares whether or not we win this.”

Man, that’s a breath of fresh air.

One of the many reasons I don’t watch sports is that I can’t stand—literally have no stomach at all for—anyone who praises Jesus for getting a ball into a net or over a wall or past a chalk line. Because for every guy Jesus “helped” win, there’s a dozen others he did jack-all for. No one ever blames Jesus for letting him get sacked again and again. He’s either on the team or he’s not—and if he is, then the team you’re playing against are obviously infidels. If not by definition, by deduction.

Football becomes a holy war. The winners are right and just and in God’s favor, and the losers are banished from Eden. If Jesus loved them—really loved them—wouldn’t they have made that field goal?

Nah. Keep God out of games. If we can do that, maybe we’ll eventually be mature enough to keep him out of wars, too.

Rob

"Bogus! What's been compromised?"

The original 1994 pilot to 24. Enjoy!



Rob
(via Kevin)

Disgraceful Under Pressure

Here's a 2003 British talk show appearance of Joe Jackson, singing "Awkward Age," one of the best songs on his Volume 4 album, which reunited him with the original Joe Jackson Band. I really love the song -- advice from a middle-aged guy to a teen, fully aware that not all of the social difficulties of growing up ever really disappear. Plus, the second line is "you had a scowl like a Klingon beauty queen," so points for that.



Rob

Pub-lic Service Announcement

A couple of my beery friends have informed me that there is a worldwide hop shortage. It's hitting the homebrew stores first, and will likely affect microbrews next, and then, eventually, the big producers. What this means to my friends is that they aren't able to get the variety or quantity of hops that they like for their beer. What this means for other run-of-the-mill beer consumers is that the big brands (Bud, Coors, Miller, etc.) are likely to get first pick of the hops, meaning smaller brewers will be strapped. Probably they'll opt to bottle less hoppy beers for the near-to-middle future, until the crisis passes. Big companies will likely push out the same sad varieties they always have. But there'll likely be price increases across the board.

So stock up! You never know when you'll need a nice hoppy IPA!

Rob
(Pretending he knows a little about this stuff, but follow my beery friends links and pester them if you want to know more. If they write about it, I'll update my links here. And yes, guys, consider this a request to share your insights about this important topic.)

(As promised, here are Sharon's and Andrew's takes on it.)

Marryin' Weight

One of my interim goals in my weight loss is to get down to what I call "marryin' weight" -- i.e. my weight on the day I was married in April 2003. That's by no means the ultimate goal; I've got a ways to go after that, although I think the weight scientists tell me I should have for my 5'6" frame (115-154 pounds) seems a little pie-in-the-sky (mmm...pie) if not outright foolish. But marryin' weight is a benchmark, albeit one reached the first time with the Atkins excrete-what-you-eat diet. I'm planning to get there via slower, healthier means this time.

However, looking at my scale today, I realize I'm about nine pounds over that weight right now. And it occurs to me that I'm now probably in my "first week after the hard-eatin' honeymoon in Paris" weight. So yay, me!

Gonna take more than a week to get rid of those crepes, though.

Rob

It's time to go home.

I'm so fried right now that I had to check my computer's calendar to see whether it is Thursday or Friday. (It's Friday.) I want my weekend. So I'm going home now and not thinking about anything until I have to think about it again.

Going home. Now.

Rob

Harnessing the Power of Know-it-alls for Good

Kevin Drum passes along advice from Tony Bourdain about how to use the Internet to figure out where to eat in any given city.

I imagine the same advice could be used to elicit comic, movie, play or music recommendations, as well. Let the Snobs work for You!

Rob

Strike at The Office

The WGA strike at The Office:



In related news, Mark Evanier reports that Steve Carell has been calling in sick since the strike began. His ailment? "Enlarged balls."

Rob

BooYAH!

I went to my meeting last night and logged another drop of 2.6 pounds. That's what this Sony TZ laptop weighs!

Sadly, I also lost 100 gigs of computing power. All from my ass.

Rob