Saturday, December 16, 2006

Santa Scare

Santa scared the shit outta me.

Despite the picture at right, I'm not talking about a bad Santa experience back when I was four or five. No, I'm talking about this morning.

Kathy & I were awakened by a banging on the door. (Yes, it was 11:00. Yes, we were asleep. No, we don't have kids. Why do you ask?) So, I threw on some PJs and went to answer it, when suddenly I heard the wailing of sirens. LOTS of sirens. We live a block away from a firehouse, but I don't think I've ever heard so many sirens. Someone's house was burning down. Was it ours? I didn't smell smoke, but my sniffer has never been a particularly reliable instrument. Maybe a neighbor's place. Maybe the knock was a signal for us to evacuate. Terrorist attack? Jesus, who knows?

I looked out the window and saw an ambulance, driving slowly. Weird enough, but it was followed by a fire truck. Why aren't they moving? They should be hauling ass! Then I heard something under the wail of the sirens, something out of place. "Winter Wonderland"?

And there was Santa, sitting with a couple of reindeer on a second fire truck. Happy to bring joy into people's lives.

Ho ho ho.

(The banging was a UPS delivery, by the way. Total coincidence.)

P.S. This is probably a good time to link once again to the Chicago Tribune's gallery of Kids Crying at Santa Claus.


Chris A. said...

Take out the UPS delivery (but leave the knocking), and you got yourself the opening to a David Lynch movie!

Rob S. said...

Did I mention UPS delivered a severed human ear?