It occurs to me that I kind of miss working in a bookstore.
Yesterday, I stopped by the Borders by Madison Square Garden to use some gift certificates. (I picked up Roger Ebert’s book Awake in the Dark and the Criterion Collection DVD of Rififi. So thanks, folks!)
While I was there, I stopped by the fantasy/science fiction section, and found Jeri’s book, and took a moment to rearrange the shelves to give it some face-out time. When I worked in Barnes & Noble, it was a task I always found pleasant, and this really only took a second—there was a little breathing room down below, so just a couple-book shift did the trick. So there was that – a familiar action in a familiar environment.
And then I got to the cashiers. A customer had just left a register, and they were joking about her. They listed an incompatible selection of books she’d bought, topped off by Diary of a Satanist. “She said, ‘I have a coupon, I’m supposed to get 25 percent off,’” her cashier joked. I said: “She’s a Satanist, shouldn’t she just take it?”
It reminded me of a call I got when I worked at Barnes & Noble. A woman called up and asked me “Do you have The Ultimate Kiss?”
“Well, um…that’s what I’ve been told, but I don’t think it’s official.” I’m a card, I am.
“It’s a book on oral sex,” she informed me.
“Okay, let me check.” I checked the computer, and it wasn’t in our inventory. I told her so.
She didn’t take it well. “Does Barnes and Noble have a problem with oral sex?” I told her that I wasn’t aware of any B&N policies, one way or the other.
“So do you have something against oral sex?” she asked, somewhat accusatorily.
“Oh, no. I’m very pro oral sex.” (This was a professional conversation. The very definition of “grey area,” I’d imagine.)
Then I checked to see if we could order it for her, but our distributors didn’t carry it, either. She ended the call thinking that the distributors were conspiring to keep her from getting off.
I like my current job, but I sure do miss getting calls like that.
Rob
6 comments:
Thanks for the shuffling, Rob. B&N's seem to carry it face out, but not Borders.
I've heard the booksellers get kind of pissed off when customers do this. Is that not true, based on your B&N experience?
I don't remember any customer ever doing it at B&N, to be honest. I can understand them being pissed, though, for the same reasons that libraries have retrun carts rather than wanting people to reshelve their own books --not everyone knows how to do it.
In my case, at least, I wasn't caught. Took ten seconds, tops.
I'm like the wind. A shelving wind.
a shelving wind
May I suggest this as your new tagline? It would inspire fear in your enemies, not to mention awe and flying undies in your admirers.
It could go on your list of Superpowers I Already Have (mine consists of weighing produce without a scale, and, um, that's it).
Oooo! I have a super power like that!
I always get a good parking space at Target.
Not everywhere, mind you. Just the Target near my house. I can't remember visiting any other Targets to see if it works everywhere, but it works at the one here.
Ok, as superpowers goes, it's really lame. But it's mine.
My Superpower is, well, oral sex. As super powers go it is lame and useless. On a Friday nite when the kids are asleep...
Well, maybe it's useless for fighting crime, but as super powers go, it's one of the best.
Speking in general terms, of course. I sure don't wanna know what your power level is.
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