Sunday, October 19, 2008

Three Words I Wish I'd Never Heard

As I was getting the ferrets ready for bed tonight (scooping litter boxes, refilling food bowls--the usual routine) I decided to watch The Girls Next Door, the show where Playboy Playmates fawn over Hugh Hefner and have adventures and stuff. It just so happened that this episode was celebrating Hef's birthday. (It's possible that every episode celebrates Hef's birthday--which is kind of appropriate. Hef leads the kind of life that must make it tough to tell the difference between his birthday and the other 364 days of the year.)

Anyway, after making chocolate molds of their body parts for him, the girls throw Hef a surprise party. And as they all sing "Happy Birthday"--it pains me to even recount this:

One of the Playmates is singing "cha-cha-cha" in between every line.

I never did this as a kid. My friends never sang cha-cha-cha at any of their birthday parties. You know where I first heard it? At a birthday party for one of my nieces or nephews.

I am horrified.

No one--man, woman, or cocker spaniel--wants to realize how much older they are than a Playboy Playmate. But boy, did those three words bring it home.

I think T.S. Eliot said it best:
I grow old, I grow old. I would break a chocolate mold.


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