Get Ta Know Me! Part III

Thom has interviewed me. Here’s what he asked, and my responses.

1.If you could hang out with any character from Barney Miller, who would it be and why?

Dietrich, I think. He was my favorite character as a kid, just seemed a bit brainer and funnier than the rest. But it’s been too long since I’ve seen an ep with him in it that I couldn’t tell you specifics. C’mon, Sony! Put out Seasons Two through Eight already!

2.You are hired by the military to come up with a secret weapon to use against Evil Doers…what’s the weapon?

Hmmm... I need some sort of bomb to, I dunno… make people gay?

Nah, that’ll never work. (And I’d hate to start a flame war…)

It goes without saying that gamma bombs are a bad idea.

I think I’d go with the patented Green Zombie Mist. Spray it over an area and have their dead come back from the grave and feast on the brains of the living.

Confining it might be a problem, but let’s leave that to the U.N., shall we?

3. Countdown or World War Hulk?

Ooh, tough call. I’m holding out on World War Hulk, planning to read it when it’s collected (I don’t really feel like playing the crossover chase with it). On the other hand, Countdown hasn’t impressed me so far. So, sight unseen: World War Hulk.

4. Take the solicit for a Marvel or DC comic that just irritated you, making you ask “Really, Marvel/DC?” Rewrite it in a fashion that would convince you to buy it.

I don’t really get worked up about previews (that Daredevil bit was crass, but didn’t really ruffle me), but let’s see what I can find in today’s solicits.

Let’s see… Countdown Special: The Search for Ray Palmer says

The Search for Ray Palmer truly kicks into high gear, as Kyle Rayner, Donna Troy and Jason Todd scour the Multiverse… The trio's first stop: the Wildstorm Universe…

Hmm… It would take replacing pretty much every proper noun except Ray Palmer in this solicit to get me excited about this issue. Which I guess is changing the story, rather than the solicit.

On the other hand, here’s one where the nouns all tickle me right where I think:

SUICIDE SQUAD: RAISE THE FLAG #1
When original Suicide Squad member Rick Flag Jr. returned from the dead in the pages of CHECKMATE, it blew open a brand-new espionage mystery for the DC Universe! In this eagerly awaited miniseries by legendary Squad writer John Ostrander (WORLD WAR III), it’s revealed how Flag survived a nuclear blast while battling terrorism in Qurac — as his hard path home takes him from Skartaris to Dubai and into the hands of dueling commanders Amanda Waller and General Wade Eiling. Their power struggle reveals surprising secrets from their pasts — even as a new Suicide Squad is created to play a key role in the DCU’s ever-evolving future!

The only thing wrong with that is that it reminds me that Ostrander wrote part of World War III. (Brrr….) But “takes him from Skartaris to Dubai” is EXACTLY what I’m looking for in a Suicide Squad comic.

I don’t need better solicitations – I need better stories.

5.What one comics legend (living or dead) would you like to see return to comics?
I thought about Will Eisner, I thought about Jack Kirby, and I thought about Curt Swan and Jack Cole. But they all had long careers (even Cole, who killed himself after success as the creator of Plastic Man and as a Playboy cartoonist). The one person who I wish had lived long enough to have a much broader and deeper body of work is Mike Parobeck. I wouldn’t call him a legend – but had he not had such an untimely death, he might have one day become one.

More comics from Alan Brennert would be great, too. Every story he wrote was gold.

Thanks a lot, Thom. Those were fun questions!

Anyone who wants to be interviewed, leave a comment for me.

Rob