Double Deuce

I never weighed in when I got back from Vegas, so it's been two weeks since my last confession... or something like that. When I went to the meeting on Wednesday night, I discovered that I gained 2.2 pounds over those two weeks of steak and gin and ginsteak. And, upon coming home, a remarkable amount of peanut-butter-filled pretzels. Man, were they ever a mistake to buy. But they've inspired this short play:

ROB: Boy, I sure am eating a lot of these peanut-butter pretzels.

DEVIL ON ROB'S SHOULDER: You better get rid of them before you eat more.

ROB: Why, that's a surprisingly responsible suggestion, Devil On My Shoulder.

DEVIL ON ROB'S SHOULDER: What is THAT supposed to mean?

ROB: It's just... well, usually you're telling me to indulge in stuff. Like those four beers I drank last night to give the jambalaya that genuine, stirred-by-a-souse flavor.

DEVIL ON ROB'S SHOULDER: That I do, that I do...

ROB: So what's up with this "get rid of the pretzels" kick?

DEVIL ON ROB'S SHOULDER: I'm not sure what you're getting at.

ROB: Why would YOU, of all the little people on my shoulder, want me to stay away from the pretzels?

DEVIL ON ROB'S SHOULDER: Um... no reason...

ROB: I'm on to you. You're up to something, I know it.

DEVIL ON ROB'S SHOULDER: If you say so.

ROB (grabbing a handful of pretzels): If you want me to get rid of those pretzels, you'll have to be a lot smarter than that.

DEVIL ON ROB'S SHOULDER (sighing): I suppose you're right.

ROB: Face it, Devil. I'm just too smart for you. (ROB pops a pretzel into his mouth, and crunches it.) That's the taste of victory, my friend.

CURTAIN

Wow... that went on a lot longer than I expected.* But now.. the moment of visualization. Googling 2.2 pounds, amazingly, led me to this:
Yes, there's 2.2 pounds of Jamaican Bat Guano in this container. As well as 2.2 pounds of two other types of guano, and only 1 pound of the mysteriously short-shrifted Mexican Bat Guano. ¿Por que no tienen amor para guano de bateas Mexicanas?

Rob

*Here's the play, as I intended to write it.
ROB: I should get rid of these pretzels.
DEVIL: EAT THEMMMM!!!!
ROB: Okay.