Put. The Doggie. Down.

So the other night, we're playing Pathfinder -- an offshoot of Dungeons and Dragons that rejects the 4th edition changes and revises the rules more in the 3.0/3.5 tradition, not that you care, or even understand what I just said -- and pal Dave noticed a listing for a weapon called a Dog Slicer. Which made us wonder, and kinda gag. (It also made us talk about how sliced hot dogs can really blimp up in a microwave, and reminded me of these Frankfurterstein machines that would electrocute your wiener, cooking it from the inside. (Remember those babies? My grandmother had one; a 70s-era model, though, not this space-age marvel.)

Anyway, mystery solved: the dog slicer is apparently a goblin weapon, named for pretty much what you'd think:

Dog Slicer: A savage weapon created from castoff bits of sharpened waste metal, goblins named these small swords after the act for which they're most commonly employed. Holes drilled in the blade make them easier to heft by enthusiastic but weak-armed murderers. Most dog slicers are size Small. 

Of course, the other thing that leapt to mind when I first heard the name of this weapon is the one and only Dogwelder, of the Section Eight superteam from Hitman.

God, I miss that book.

Rob