Secret Ten: The Reckoning (Part One)

Okay, I've abandoned doing these Secret Ten posts one at a time, because hey, life's too short. So here are the answers to two more of Ami's questions.

First of all, we have:

2 sets 7 up on a date with their (2's) best friend. Would 7 be happy?

#2, as we know, is Margie Gunderson. I'm not entirely clear on who her best friend is--it's been a while since I've seen Fargo (Although I saw The Man Who Wasn't There just tonight, meaning I can once again say I've seen every Coen Bros. movie)--but I know she knows a guy who desperately needs a date. Desperately. Mike Yanagita, her poor acquaintance from high school, may just be the loneliest guy in the world. Here's a clip (start around 2:33), where you can see the entirety of Steve Park's performance -- an awkward pass at a married woman.

But Marge handles it with aplomb, and decides to set him up with #7 on our list:

The Church Lady.

The Church Lady is more than happy to get a date, especially since she's unaware that Mike was more than willing to break Commandment #7 in Margie would have only given him the chance. But by the time they get past the salad course, even the Church Lady finds Mike too clingy. Things go poorly after that.

Leading the Church Lady to make a fateful decision, spurred by another one of Ami's questions:

7 is planning a wild exhaustive night of smex with 8 and goes into an adult smex toy store for supplies, what does s/he get?

Yes, the Church Lady decides to get it on with Liz Lemon (#8). The mind boggles.

(No wedding, Liz. Just smex.)

The Church Lady paces outside the adult smex toy store for hours before walking away emptyhanded... she simply cannot bring herself to go in there. So she shows up at Liz's door with the kinkiest, sexiest thing she can think of...

a pillow.

Church Lady is all about denial. When not flagellating herself, she sleeps in as much discomfort as she can muster without breaking any laws. A pillow to the Church Lady is like chocolate body paint to you or me.

Liz, not surprisingly, is taken aback by the Church Lady's affections. And yet, when all is said and done, the Church Lady is left with a night she later refers to only as...

"Special."

More Secret Ten answers as I can get to them. I haven't forgotten, I'm just incredibly busy right now.

Rob