Wednesday, April 09, 2008

An Open Letter to My Ferret, Gus

Dear Gus,

You know I love rubbing your belly. And you know I love rubbing She-Devil's belly, too, and the Dude's belly when he seems game. I think I've demonstrated, through my words and actions, that I love rubbing ferret bellies. It's one of my favorite things to do, ferret-wise.

But Gus, I can't stress this enough: When I'm rubbing She-Devil's belly and you start sniffing her ass, the whole dynamic changes from a little fun with my pets to some sort of human/ferret/ferret threesome that I AM TOTALLY NOT DOWN WITH.

Seriously, man. You're freaking me out. When I'm rubbin' bellies, keep your nose to yourself. I hate to have to call you out in public like this, but I've told you TIME AND TIME AGAIN, and maybe this is the only way I can get you to understand. This is NOT acceptable. I like you, but NOT THAT WAY.

Are we clear?

Yours,

Rob


4 comments:

Andy said...

Does your mother read this blog?

I hope not!

Rob S. said...

She does, but

a) I decided long ago I wouldn't let that constrain me. Gotta do this for me, not her. (See the next post; not one she'll dig, I'm sure.)

b) I think my mom would agree with me that human/animal threesomes are wrong. I sure *hope* she'd agree.

Rob S. said...

Those boundaries are there as well. They can be seen from space.

Sharon GR said...

Am still laughing.

Called Andrew in to read. He's still laughing.