Something just occurred to me: I’d always been taught that “Taking the Lord’s name in vain” is saying “God damn this” or exclaiming “Jesus Bellydancin’ Christ!” when you’re surprised. But isn’t publicly thanking Jesus for inconsequential stuff (like, say, a touchdown) also taking his name in vain? I think everyone who thanks Jesus for crap Jesus doesn’t care about should get an short but immediate cell-phone call from JC, saying “Lose my number, dickhead.” Is there a substantive difference between “Thou shalt not take My name in vain” and “Thou shalt not IM Me every 30 fucking seconds with thanks whenever you have a particularly satisfying bowel movement?”
I know, I know – I’d make a lousy savior.
Rob
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Do Not Call
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OK, since no one else has commented, I'm going to come out and say this cracked me up, lest you think we were all recoiling from the waves of blasphemy. And Chris cackled, too, so there's another. Guess we'll all go to Hell. Hope they have a decent buffet.
Aside: there was a character in Stephen King's THE STAND who (I think) coined a couple of good ones: "Christ in a sidecar!" and "Christ on a pogo stick!"
Ah, thanks Jer.
Andrew thought it was so funny, he read it out loud to me from another room.
I re-read it today so I could figure out what it actually said. And, it's a damn funny post.
This goes along with the hardcore Jewish folks who refuse to write the letter o when writing the word God. So instead, they write it like this: G-d.
But here's the thing, if you don't write it out of respect for God, why oh why then do you need to write G-d so G-d damn much!
Good point. I'm not sure, though, that I'm writing this out of any particular respect for God -- just a disrespect who keep on shoehorning Him into football games and the Oscars and such.
Thank you, Jesus, for Rob's blog.
Hey! None of that! Jesus only gets thanked when Jesus posts!
Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!
CHOK! (sound of a thrown rock hitting you in the head)
waitaminute. isn't jehovah is spelled with an "I"?
"We named the DOG Jndjana!"
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